Giving Options

Ways to help those who lost a child

Not sure what to do to help? Here are a few ways to help grieving parents:

• Call them.
• Send a sympathy card. It helps to know you cared about their child and that you care about them.
• Hug them. If words aren’t easy, try giving a hug, placing your hand on their back or holding their hand. People in grief often need much more physical comfort than usual.
• Call the child by name (even if was a baby that they named after the death).
• Encourage the parents to share their feelings, as well as stories and memories.
• Share your own memories of the child and/or pregnancy. The worst feeling for parents is when people act as though their child never existed.
• Let parents know you respect their thoughts and feelings, even if they are not grieving or feeling as you would.
• Allow the parents their privacy.
• If there are siblings, encourage them to talk about their brother or sister. Let them talk, or just sit with them if they are not ready. Learn more about grief in children.
• Listen. This is probably the most important thing you can do.
• Say “I’m sorry.” Sometimes, comforting words may feel disheartening. Simply let parents know you’re sorry for their loss.
• Cry with them. Many people avoid crying because they worry it will make the parents feel worse. This isn’t true. It helps to share tears.
• Remember the dad. He is often forgotten, but he is grieving, too.
• Be practical. Care for the other kids, bring food, clean the house, do the grocery shopping, do laundry, care for pets or water plants.
• Tell them you care. Acknowledge what has happened. Respond in an authentic way.

more resources from https://www.childrenscolorado.org/